Ego, L’eggo!

Last month as we were preparing to launch Two Birds, I found myself getting frustrated by a minor delay. It was such a familiar feeling that I didn’t even notice it at first. Over the course of my career, frustration has been one of my most consistent emotions and the most difficult to manage (it still is). Frustration typically arises from circumstances outside our control. It is an obstacle we didn’t create but have to deal with. It is unmet expectations. Ever try to do a home project? You know about frustration.

In my line of work, the primary source of frustration was other people. An unexpected interruption or a late deliverable—someone else’s actions or lack thereof slowing me down. To prevent my frustration from turning into resentment, I would remind myself that none of my projects were urgent. Leaders arbitrarily set deadlines most of the time, and my frustration shouldn’t be directed at the delay but at the executive ego I would now have to assuage. Now listen…I’ve worked with some great leaders who were understanding and patient and helpful. Loving your people more than your own ego is what makes a great leader. But when a person leads with ego, they are unbearable. The ego’s fear of being unremarkable will belittle and try to control anyone within its reach.

When I started to get frustrated by a small delay for my business, it was my ego exerting itself, trying to regain control. I reminded myself that the only ego I had to manage in this business is my own. We started Two Birds to share the joy we have found in letting go of other people’s expectations and embracing life’s unpredictable adventures. It isn’t an adventure unless it’s full of surprises. Maybe frustration is just a sign that a new adventure is about it begin.

So I took a deep breath, acknowledged that what I had wanted wasn’t going to happen that day, and went outside to enjoy the cool spring air.