Help! I’m Stuck!
My homeland of Wisconsin has naturally occurring quicksand. The glaciers deposited fertile black silt across much of the State, but the driftless region has areas of thick sand left behind on an ancient seafloor. Along with hidden springs and numerous rivers, the conditions are perfect for creating quicksand. A Christmas tree farm near my childhood home would often have a few areas taped off with posted caution notices. It isn’t as deadly as the movies imply (at least in Wisconsin), but it is still dangerous. Animals can get stuck, and many people over the years have lost a boot or become hypothermic as they waited for rescue.
My family did a lot of hiking and camping so it was important to my dad that we were knowledgeable about how to escape if we found ourselves stuck. We practiced in the backyard, laughing at our silly selves and our slow belly crawls across the grass. Here are some of my dad’s tips for escaping quicksand:
Always hike with someone else, especially if you are in an unfamiliar area.
Carry a hiking stick and a rope. A friend can help you out with a rope. You can help yourself out with a stick.
Stay very calm.
Move slowly until you reach more solid ground.
We all experience moments in our life when we feel stuck. We may feel stuck in a career we no longer enjoy or in a workplace that is toxic. We may find ourselves bored and inert in our personal lives. Relationship patterns that no longer allow us freedom to move and grow are like quicksand whether they are at home, at work, or with ourselves. That feeling of stuck presses on us from all sides. It overwhelms us, and in our desperation to be free, we start to panic.
Quicksand moments in life are a normal part of the landscape, and my dad’s words of wisdom apply here too.
Build relationships with actual people who care about you and your wellbeing. We all feel good about helping others, although we hate to ask for help ourselves. But we all need help sometimes, and healthy relationships offer mutual support. Allowing people who love us to give us support in tough times is a gift to them.
Be prepared. Build relationships, but don’t lose yourself in them. You are not your job or your relationship status or your online persona. Have tools on hand to help you change routes unexpectedly if you need to. Those tools may include things like learning a new skill or engaging with a life coach.
Stay very calm. You can’t control everything that happens in your life, but you can control how you respond to it. Panic causes us to make poor decisions. If you feel yourself panicking, take deep breaths and talk to that trusted friend, partner, or life coach who will help you return to a state of calm.
Keep your first few movements slow, small, and intentional. Trust that your momentum will build, but if you try to take on too much all at once, you will sink further into overwhelm. One small movement in a healthier direction is better than no movement at all.
We don’t walk away from quicksand moments unscathed. We will leave a metaphorical boot behind, and any loss comes with grief. But it is better to experience the discomfort of walking home in wet socks than it is to stay stuck when you could be free.
