The Dark Side of Ambition

A few months ago, my friend Mark asked me to write a blog about the pros and cons of ambition. It has taken me some time to gather my thoughts on this difficult topic, but this is my attempt to share them with you.

I have advised hundreds of people over the years who desire to advance their careers, and it may seem strange that someone gifted in and devoted to helping people grow professionally is going to warn you of the dangers of ambition. But here we are.

I have seen personal and professional ambition turn people into empty shells of themselves. I have watched them compromise their values and integrity and self-worth simply to obtain a higher title or salary or a greater span of control. I have watched them lose the ability to rest and be fully present in body and mind with the people and experiences in their lives that matter the most to them.

Ambition can be detrimental to our own happiness. So before we set a goal, we need to ask ourselves a very important question.

Why?

When we start drilling down into the reasons behind our goals, we often discover they aren't rooted in what is best for us or our relationships. They are rooted in comparison and competition.

Comparison and competition are our reactions to uncomfortable, existential questions. Am I doing enough? Do I have enough? Am I enough? These questions are so deeply intertwined that we often can't distinguish between them, but when our ambitions are motivated by them, we go awry. We burn ourselves out because we are trying to make ourselves fit into someone else's standard of success, even though that standard isn't right for us.

As a coach, you will find that I ask why a lot. And that isn't because I'm trying to make you fit into my or anyone else's standard of success. When you are making decisions that affect your life and the life of the people you love, it is crucial that you are defining success according to what is truly best for you.

When it is best for you, ambition can be wonderful. Ambition pushes us outside our comfort zone and helps us grow. Growth helps us become even more true to ourselves and more confident in who we are. As we become more confident, we develop greater clarity about what goals are worth our time and which ones we should let go.

Need some guidance discovering your why? Two Birds is here for you!